Making a sandwich

Chuck Wendig’s got a flash fiction challenge over at his blog, Terribleminds. The challenge was that you’ve got 1000 words to describe someone making a sandwich. My piece is a bit shorter at 635 words, but it says what needs to be said. Enjoy.

Making a sandwich.

“Hey, baby,” she crooned into his ear. “Wanna have a sandwich?”

He mumbled something unintelligible, which she took as a yes. She hopped off the bed and walked to the kitchen, hips swaying to music only she could hear. The GE fridge wept rust stains down its sides and moaned like an old woman when she hauled its door open.

She stood illuminated in a pool of butter colored light. Auburn curls tumbled down her back down to the spot that he had kissed such a long time ago. He could see her profile, the pert little nose and plump lips, hiding teeth that could inflict such pleasure and pain.

She stuck her head in the fridge’s cavernous depths. “Mmm, let’s see. You don’t mind day old cold meat, do ya?” Her voice was muted but he still heard her and pretended not to.

She exited the fridge, carrying a white plate. “It’s bone china, all the way from the real China,” she chatted as she moved around the kitchen, collecting bottles and tins and bread from the bin. “Now let’s see,” she stood with one hand on a hip cocked to the side and the other hand’s fingers tapped her lips.

“Where did I put that knife?” Annoyance tinged her voice as she looked around the table.  “Oh, never mind, it’s more fun this way,” she giggled and broke a Panini in half. She scooped a handful of mayonnaise from a jar and spread it out; her fingers massaged and pushed the white, creamy substance into the bread.

“Tomatoes … you do like tomatoes, don’t you honey bear? Especially Italian ones … luscious … aren’t they?” She took a big, ruby red tomato and tightened her fingers around it, squeezing until juice and seeds ran down her wrist to her elbow. “Oops,” she giggled again. “Did you know that humans can’t lick their own elbows? Unless, maybe, you’re that guy from that band … you know the one.”

Fingers tapped lips again as she contemplated the sandwich; leaving blotches of white and red around her mouth. “What else, hey baby? Some lettuce?” She grabbed a head of green and tore into the leaves with her nails, ripped pieces off and flung it onto the bread. “Mama said to always wash lettuce ‘cause it can hide worms. Yeah … never know what hides beneath the surface …” She sighed and looked out of the kitchen window at the cracked, concrete yard beyond. “I sure do miss my Mama.”

She was distracted for a while but then noticed the sandwich again and gave it a bright, cheery smile. “Almost done!” She grabbed the bone china plate and carefully lifted the clingwrap away from the meat. A big, green blow fly crawled out of the plate, shook its wings and buzzed off. “Ugh,” she cried and swatted at it. “A bloody fly!” She ran around the kitchen, curls bouncing and arms waving, trying to chase the fly away.

She gave up after a few minutes and stood panting next to the kitchen table. “Sure can’t give you a sandwich with spoiled meat on it! No worries, there’s lots more where that came from … just have to find that bloody knife!”

She rummaged through drawers and went down on her hands and knees to look under the table. “Grrr,” she growled like an irritated dog and shook her head. “Oh! I got an idea!” She opened one of the drawers and took out a vegetable peeler. “Mama got this one from the shopping channel on TV, they said it’s made from stainless steel … it can peel right through the toughest skin!”

She put the sandwich onto a plate and balanced it on one hand, vegetable peeler in the other hand, and walked over to the bed.

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  1. #1 by matthewswinney on February 23, 2012 - 11:40 am

    This is really good! I think I’m reading it the right way, and in that case, very creepy, but in a nice subtle way. BTW, thanks for reading my flash fiction and commenting.
    A few very minor points: (sorry, I need to do this, I’m an English B.A.)
    - in the second paragraph I think you mean “unintelligible”
    - the description of the noise the fridge door makes seems odd to me; I don’t know what an old woman’s moan sounds like, but I don’t imagine it as anything like the sound a rusty hinge would make
    Other than that, really well done!

    • #2 by Celia on February 23, 2012 - 2:42 pm

      Thanks, I just changed that quickly!

  2. #3 by InsideJourneys on February 23, 2012 - 1:03 pm

    Very visual. I can see her now.

  3. #4 by InsideJourneys on February 23, 2012 - 1:03 pm

    PS: I hope Mr. BA/English is someone you know.

  4. #6 by sarahhans on February 23, 2012 - 10:13 pm

    Wow, great job! This is one of the best entries I’ve read so far. I realized what was going on with a slow creepy dread, and then the sucker punch at the end was perfectly timed.

    • #7 by Celia on February 24, 2012 - 8:49 am

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  5. #8 by missared on February 24, 2012 - 2:01 am

    I have to second what sarahhans said. At first I thought it couldn’t possibly be going in that direction. I figured my brain must just be a dark place, but holy crap, that’s darker than mine! Great job!

    • #9 by Celia on February 24, 2012 - 8:50 am

      Ha! Isn’t it great what Chuck brings out in us? :)

  6. #10 by BJ Kerry on February 24, 2012 - 7:59 am

    Nicely written piece. You really got the pace exactly right and left us wantin more!

    • #11 by Celia on February 24, 2012 - 8:52 am

      Mmm, I was thinking this crazy girl needed a longer story of her own!

  7. #12 by Kevin Basil on February 24, 2012 - 8:21 am

    Great job! That is one crazy woman! haha. I like how you hinted at something the whole time but never gave it up. It was such a tease of a read, which I always enjoy!

    • #13 by Celia on February 24, 2012 - 8:52 am

      :) Thanks for reading!

  8. #14 by Ben K. on February 24, 2012 - 10:44 am

    Nice! I kind of have the creeps, now, but it’s hard to say why. Thanks for the story…

    • #15 by Celia on February 28, 2012 - 8:04 pm

      Thanks Ben :)

  9. #16 by scottweberwriter on February 24, 2012 - 10:08 pm

    I echo the “visual” comments. I could see the whole thing as I read it, that is quite a feat. Well paced also. Keep writing.

    • #17 by Celia on February 28, 2012 - 8:05 pm

      Thanks and you too!

  10. #18 by louisesor on February 28, 2012 - 1:38 pm

    Very visual. You paint the pictures with words.
    And still the last line was a shocker.
    Very well done! : )

    • #19 by Celia on February 28, 2012 - 8:05 pm

      It surprised me as well, that last line ;)

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